12/15

I sort of bombarded Theory today with a fair amount of major/minor key identification within written music and then ended the class with something completely contrary to the guidelines I introduced; a twelve-tone piece by Webern!  They're treating the approach of my departure like most students treat the approach of the holiday break, even blatantly saying things like, "You're about to leave, don't bother trying to teach us new stuff!"  I have been anyway, but tomorrow won't be heavy material and Friday will just be a fun listen-to-music day.

General Music went really well.  A modified schedule today placed the crazy fury-inducing class first.  I set up the chairs in an outward-facing circle and put a sticky note on each desk (I'm kind of proud of this idea).  If they spoke once without permission, I would remove the sticky note.  If they spoke again and did not have a sticky note on their desk, they would receive a detention.  It turns out I was so clear with them that I didn't have to take away even a single sticky note.  Mrs. D was very happy about these results, as well.  I was even able to extend the effect to other classes by telling them about what made me mad and what I did about it, letting them know that I was still prone to boiling over.  They behaved, too.  Tomorrow, my last day with them, should be fun.

I think I get the difference now between being cruel and being authoritative.  With certain students, respect for the teacher is earned by demonstration of authority, and after that point is when it's most wise to let them learn to like the teacher too.  I don't yet have a perfect understanding of how to reconcile this with my other idealistic ideas about promoting self-regulation and mutual respect, but I've made a big step.

We held my final evaluation meeting today.  I turned in everything that I needed to turn in, received letters of recommendation, and was told that I'm being given a 4 in student teaching.  :)


Wie Bin Ich Froh (Anton Webern) - Christiane Oelze & Eric Schneider

12/14

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I am fed up with that last General Music class of the day.  They've completely pushed me over the edge.  The behavior of almost every person was erratic and unquestionably unforgivable.  I couldn't hold their attention for more than two seconds (and there were paper airplanes (!!!) on the floor after class).  Clapping a one-measure rhythm pattern with a class of 7th-graders should never result in students banging on desks and wildly jumping out of their seats.

I once gave in and asked a question that shouldn't be asked; "I've seen you all in other classes and I know you can focus better than this.  What is it that other teachers do that I don't that makes you behave better for them?"  Their answer was uniformly, "They yell at us."

I'm trapped.  Modern pedagogical theory takes the stance that yelling is, most often, counterproductive, as a culture of expected submission is much less educationally valuable than one of mutual respect.  Well, I've pushed the respect approach as far as it can go.  I don't claim to be some sort of pedagogical paragon, but I realize now that I've been fighting against a culture that does not foster the kind of classroom management that I've been trained to provide.

We have to punish them.  Tomorrow we'll have them sit in an outward-facing circle and do individual work without speaking to any other students, or at all unless they raise their hand and are called on.

Hmph.  I think everything else was fine today.  I can't even think straight.

12/9

The trip with the show choir was essentially a success, and a good time was had by all.  We performed at 3 locations and went to a mall for lunch.  I spent most of the day downing cough drops, and I learned a few things...

Always bring a keyboard.  Our contacts at one location said to us that they had a piano we could use, but it turned out to be horrifically out of tune (seriously, think of the pianos you hear in horror films) and in a bad location.  Fortunately, we had an electronic keyboard with us (that we did need for another location) and were able to use that.

Try not to let the students sing on the bus.  Mrs. D is very relaxed about these sorts of things, but I'm convinced that the noise of a bus engine and its movement on a highway are so significant (yet subtle) that anyone who sings, over-sings (unavoidably).  It tires out voices, and I could sort of tell by the last performance (some singers were tending flat at lower pitches than previously).

I'm not sure what kind of "lesson" I gleaned here, but I had an interesting experience with one piece.  One of my selections is their most difficult, and I hadn't quite finished teaching it to them.  After the first performance, during which they did not sing this piece, we had time for me to teach them the rest.  So we had a crash course and they did pretty well, but we didn't have the kind of repetition that one gets in real rehearsals to even identify every issue.  Both performances of this piece later in the day were adequate; there were great moments, and there were moments that they barely got through.  Oddly, I was pleased, but if I were performing with my HS select choir and we did equally well, I would be downright embarrassed, even angry.  These are good singers — they deserve to have more rehearsals (and those who come to every one deserve to have ensemble-mates that do the same).

We got back to the school in time for the detention that I had scheduled.  The damn kid didn't show up.  Now he has an office referral and a fuming teacher; one who will find him wherever he is held (ISS or some other detention, I don't yet know) and give him the same talk that I had planned to give him today. Also, I picked up shards of broken PEN from the MS room's floor today, not just of a pencil!  I collected that and other trash to use as fodder for a lecture on respect.

We also returned to the HS to find that the Theory kids had drawn funny/weird things all over the board in the choir room.  I was quite amused.  I'm also really looking forward to showing them some musical demos that I have for them tomorrow.  I hope to post those links tomorrow :)

12/7 - War and Peace

The MS choir has been driving us a little crazy.  When, in our last rehearsal before performing, they look at us like we're crazy when we ask them who sings a section of a song first and who joins later, we worry.

We performed for the school at an assembly today...and were embarrassed.  Mrs. D had to tell students on stage to stop talking, then she had to start a song over because of a non-functional beginning.  Soon enough, the assistant principal had to remove three girls from our choir (from stage) because they were talking so much.

The assistant principal, Mrs. D, and I all spoke to each of those girls, one at a time, after the assembly.  On a tangential note, the assistant principal tore into the students with wording that was slightly beyond the harshness that I expected, or that I was entirely in agreement with.  I'm either still a softie or he was in a really bad mood.  Maybe both.

We had another complete rehearsal with the choir at the end of school, which allowed us to prepare for the public concert this evening.  The singers told us that other students said they "sucked," and we just looked blankly at them.  Mrs. D lectured to them about how being disruptive is not cute (a phrase inspired by a boy whose cuteness gets him a pass on misbehavior) and how they didn't "show up to sing."  I added on to this by providing two solutions for the issues brought up.  First, as students who've been in my classes know I like to do, I told them that they need to give an honest effort, and that would solve the musical symptoms of not showing up to sing.  Second, I told them to relax and be confident, and that would resolve the musical symptoms of being anxious.  I know it's easier said than done, but I had to.

After all of that, we started to sing.  Mrs. D gave the pitches for the first song, and WOW!  It all came together!  I didn't know these students could sing so well.  It was confident, in tune, and focused.  We were amazed.  This ended up being a stunning rehearsal.

The concert went better than the assembly, though not quite as good as the rehearsal.  Overall, they stepped up and I was proud of them.  Mrs. D had warned me that middle school choir is like a box of chocolates.  You never—

11/30

I must be brief, I need sleep.

The song that I'm conducting in HS Choir requires the use of kazoos, which we handed out today.  That was a riot.  We have very few rehearsals left until our concert, and we still have a lot to do.

I brought out guitars today.  Oy.

I also wrote out my first and second detention slips today (to be delivered to students tomorrow).  Mrs. D was proud, and I really needed the opportunity and guts to deliver such a punishment.  This "teacher detention" is more old-fashioned than I thought schools tried to be.  In a week, each of these students will stay after school in my classroom and I get to tell them what to do (within reasonable and legal limits, of course).  One student left a mess on the floor and is also consistently disruptive; I plan on having him pick up floor trash and then (maybe) have him write a note to the janitorial staff...or just sit.  The other one seriously owes himself some time to reflect on his uncontrolled and bullying behavior, so I will provide him that time.  Of course, I still have a week to think about this.  I really dislike punishing kids, but in these cases I slightly enjoy the "that oughta teach 'em a lesson!" feeling.


Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin
Communication Breakdown - Led Zeppelin

11/19

We started a viewing of Les Choristes in Theory today.



We watched Michel Lauzière in General Music.



I also submitted my first discipline referral at the end of the day.  I was presented with more bullying activity today than all previous days combined.  In one class, a boy bullied two people with some incredibly harsh words and intimidation, while in another class a boy incites class laughter directed at a classmate (the one who tends to do unusual things for a variety of reasons).  The first received the referral, the second one got a personal lecture from me.

11/16

I don't want to talk about choir.  :)

I'm afraid terrified that I lost someone's Theory test!  I've had it on my mind all day and there's nothing else that I can do except find out tomorrow if I accidentally gave it to her.  There was a lot going on and I had too many piles of too many different papers — handing things to the students, receiving things from them, keeping completed tests from being viewed by a student taking the test...I really hope this girl has her test.

The first General Music class of the day finally exhibited their overall slowness.  I gave a very clear lecture on new information and made sure they wrote down all the right things, but they really struggled this time to apply it to a worksheet that I gave them.  They're still not behind the other classes, but that turning point may arrive soon.  It's very frustrating to have a few students in the class that catch on immediately and finish things quickly while 90% can't.

Two students in my last GM class have been getting more disruptive by the day.  I moved their seats a couple times today and they still cause trouble.  One of them giggles when I tell her that she is being rude and disruptive and the other one said at one point, "it doesn't matter where you seat me, I'll talk to anyone."  He was being more honest than difficult when he said that, but it's clear that he knows what behavior I want him to tame...and he won't...yet.  Mrs. D was gone today, so I found myself talking to the principal about which path of recourse to take if I need to in the future.  I kept coming so close to disciplining her...I just never couldn't decide how!

11/15

There's a newly hired  sheriff  administrator in town whose job covers the yet-dealt-with office referrals we've submitted.  Two of the girls were not in Choir today and things went better (they did get in a physical fights, after all).  I'm being optimistic...for now.

I conceded today that I am prone to making Theory tests/quizzes too difficult.  I try to keep them short, and in doing so choose to skip questions of medium difficulty and include a couple easy ones and many hard ones instead.  Related to this, I discussed with a friend today the exam that we had to take for state certification in music; it was very challenging, but we consider it to have been a well-made exam because it had enough foundational/easier questions to establish that understanding before using the difficult questions as the real measures of who is advanced and who is not.  I've constructed a moderately elaborate scheme to get these students' test grades up, including providing them with some much more extensive and repetitive skill-building exercises.  Practice is as vital to Theory as Math, and I haven't given them enough.

The General Music class that I expected to be the slowest to progress is keeping up quite well.  All of the classes did an excellent job absorbing my lecture and applying it to a worksheet that I made for them.  I'm a little bit proud of them, and hope that their understanding is demonstrated in the next quiz better than the last one (which had a 0% - 100% bell curve).

It's almost 10:00 and time to go grade workbooks, create exercises, create worksheets, and create lesson plans for tomorrow.

Music Education (Part 2) and Supplementary Reflection

Continued from Part 1

It takes a village to raise a choir.  Sure, there are those who are motivated toward musical achievement without the encouragement of friends, family, and their community, but filling a choir with motivated singers does require broader support.  However, if I were to continue on that path of reasoning, my conclusions of "everyone just needs to be encouraged" would apply no differently to music than to any other subject.

Currently, the particular form of communal perception of music that I think is needed is esteem.  When students and communities admire musical accomplishments, a wealth of intrinsic motivation arrives.  You've read my stories about students who approach choir almost no different than study hall, and you've read about situations which diminish the potential of the ensemble but end with the blame falling on a director who is often unfairly powerless.  If students joined choir out of a respect for what can be done with the ensemble, these issues wouldn't be present.  In order for that to happen, a change in perception of the entire school community — students, parents, teachers, and administrators — needs to occur.

I do think that other teachers and administrators respect this choral program, but what we really need is a second choir.  Now, the show choir is already made up of motivated students, and they've built a reputation by performing locally, but we need another during-school choir.  The most successful choral programs that I've seen are built around setting "the bar" higher and higher.  There needs to be a beginning choir that includes music-reading education and establishes proper choral habits (beginning rehearsal on time, focusing on the music, warming up with purpose, etc.), and then an advanced/older choir that is prepared to be challenged into creating music that is deeply worth listening to.  That kind of achievement is the pinnacle of music education because it educates more than the students, but also the community.  Music teachers should see music as a cultural necessity and devote themselves to its development.  In order for them to most readily succeed in that goal, however, the support of esteem for music needs to be omnipresent.




======
Supplement to 11/12


During the first major incident, Mrs. D and I were told that "perception is an issue," and I conceded that the girls involved are all of the same ethnicity.  It's impossible at this point not to wonder if the lack of discipline is due to an avoidance of disciplining a group of students of minority ethnicity.  The worst part of this apparent reverse discrimination isn't, to me, the unfair treatment involved (though that itself is detestable), but that it ends up fueling racism in the student body.  It is mentally so easy (instinctive, perhaps) to allow the feeling of "Why are they getting preferential treatment?" to turn into a judgement of those are are benefiting from the reverse discrimination and the ethnic/religious/cultural group that they fit into.

While listening to a group of students talk about their frustration with this event, one perceptive student said, "It almost makes me feel racist," in reference to the illogical application of judgement that I just explained.  Reverse discrimination doesn't just manifest in unfair treatment, it also quite effectively reverses the progress we have made against the rampant discriminatory racism of the past.

11/12

I am so glad it's Friday.

All of those intra-group-fighting girls were in Choir today with absolutely no recourse taken for anything.  The other students are so frustrated that they passed around a petition (which Mrs. D saw and stopped) to the administration to deal with the persistent and pervasive disruptions.  We were able to rehearse, and then...well, I need to censor details here for the sake of anonymity...the administration wants to blame our classroom management instead of addressing the infractions already reported.  Just before we left the HS for the day we heard that one of the girls just about started a fight in a hall and had to be restrained by multiple adults.  Are they waiting for someone to get punched?

There is some serious reflection that I have regarding this issue, but I need to take a break before writing it out.  I'll include it as part of a "Music Education Pt. 2" post that I hereby promise to write this weekend.

I put an extra credit question on the Theory test for today that stated, "Draw something," and I got to see some funny illustrations (one of them had a picture of me yelling "Pupil!" which is funny if you remember that story).

I had some success in the General Music classes today (I taught the basic history of western notation), except the last class hadn't taken yesterday's quiz yet, so I had to try to get that out of the way.  Too bad for us that two minutes after I handed out the quiz, a fire drill began.  The drill took the rest of the class.  Now they're two days behind!  Sweet.

11/11

We lost an entire freakin' choir rehearsal today because those disruptive girls were about to brawl (I tried to think of a way to write that sentence in a way that sounded appropriately seething, but I couldn't).  I'm seething (see?).  The story goes that there was almost a fight yesterday that didn't happen, so it apparently boiled over into this morning and choir began with these girls yelling colorful expletives so that everyone could hear them.  We spent the class with me monitoring the room while Mrs. D took certain participants to the office one-by-one.

That wasn't the worst part, though.  After all of the discipline write-ups Mrs. D did, they are still, according to the web-based discipline system, unread (in fact, so are the write-ups from the last significant incident)!  We have no idea (again) what to expect tomorrow.  I am being generous in saying that administrative action regarding these girls leaves something to be desired.

I was able to give 2/3 General Music classes a quiz today (the 3rd wasted too much time during our review session).  I read the quiz to them and allowed them to use their notes for the last 3 minutes of quiz-taking time, and many of them did terribly.  The learning support teachers present in these two classes were in support of my methods, and I will be working with them to make sure I only give bad grades to the students that deserve them for not giving an effort, and that I find a way to enable those who suffered due to disability a proper chance to succeed.

If anyone ever asks you to differentiate instruction for 26 special education students, run.

11/3

I was observed while directing the choir today.  I did better than yesterday (with my new understandings), and am beginning to convince myself to feel optimistic (though I know that phrasing makes me sound bitter...give me a break, it's late).

I finally got to play another discussion-worthy piece for Theory today.  It's from one of my favorite movies, Les Choristes, so we ended up talking about that a little bit, too.  It was also an exciting lesson because I introduced them to triads.  I just get giddy thinking about how they're catching a glimpse of approaching theory as if it were a ship approaching from the horizon — they can make out its general shape and purpose, but have no idea of the detail and grandeur that will eventually arrive.

The 1st GM class of the day is essentially a full day ahead of the rest.  Tomorrow, however, I will begin lecturing on the first unit, and am preparing myself for a slowing of pace.  The last class of the day $&#*ed up our practice fire drill.  They talked and goofed off and one even rudely imitated me calling her name when going through the roster outside.  I was mad, and I think they caught on when I told them that they were so disrespectful that we'll do it again tomorrow.

Oh, fine.  I'll provide some pedagogical reflection.  I vacillate on my thoughts of the function of punishment in class.  It's very easy to mistakenly create a punishment out of something that shouldn't be viewed that way by a student.  Practicing a fire drill, for example...if they think of it as a punishment, am I risking having students think more about negative things than about safety when a real evacuation has to occur?  Furthermore, I strive to educate them on much more than just music; I would like them to understand the why of procedures like this.  If I don't see value in it, why should they?  Lastly, when I get angry, I inspire (or at least signal that I want to inspire) fear from them.  Fear = not educationally beneficial.  If, instead (and more likely suited to my personality), I am disappointed, I inspire guilt in them.  Guilt = not a feeling a student should have when entering a classroom.  Ultimately, I think Mrs. D would remind me how quickly students get over things like that, and that swift punishment is vital to preventing a disruptable/distractable environment.


La Nuit (from Les Choristes by Bruno Coulais)

10/8

Mrs. D and her family extended their weekend from 3 (we have Monday off) days to 4 and took today off for a short trip.  So I was on my own again today (with a sub).

I did a little bit of work with the HS Choir.  I warmed them up with one exercise that Mrs. D uses and then one that my college director uses.  I used the vowel-shaping focus of the second one to transition into working with the choir on a unison melody in a song (with a focus on vowels).  I have to give credit to many members of the choir, they were focused and intent on hearing me and trying to learn, but there was also still a lot of trouble from that notorious group of girls I've spoken of before.  There was also an expected hurdle that it seems will take more time to overcome even with the students who want to do well; they're just not used to my style of directing (one which isn't at all solidified anyway).  Compared to Mrs. D, I'm rather dry and serious — intently focused on what I want to teach.  This was evident during that second warm-up activity; it required following some conducting while singing a new thing, so their sound was very timid and unsure.  The same sort of sound was all I could get during the song rehearsal too since my use of the piano is different than Mrs. D's.  I did also identify a hurdle for myself to overcome; I can't yet digest all of the actions, sounds, and attention of so many students at once, so it's really difficult to adapt my teaching because with so many students responding/acting in so many different ways.  I feel removed and alone.

Today was school colors day at the HS and hat day at the MS.  I wore a cool tie and a fedora.  Sorry, no picture.

I somehow managed to get to the same point in the movie at the end each of the 3 GM classes.  That will make Tuesday easy.

There was a tricky incident today.  Just as students were arriving for a GM class, a girl stormed out of the room and a [rather excitable] boy followed her in haste.  I did too, and the girl told me she was going to the office to report the boy for being a persistent pest (my words, not hers).  The boy just about threw a fit (and did throw his hat), so I took them both aside, got their stories (the boy keeps bugging the girl even when she asks him to stop), made the boy apologize and understand that the real apology is in not continuing that behavior, but I left it open for the girl to go to the office.  Fortunately, she chose not to after the apology.  I felt like I was teaching elementary kids how to resolve a problem, but I'm concluding that 7th grade is about when I get to tell them that I expect them to be able to come to their own resolutions, but when they still won't get it right every time.


Nacht und Träume (Franz Schubert) - Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau

10/5 - The Persistence of Memory

We allowed everyone in HS Choir to return to their original seats...the fussy group of girls got even worse, and Mrs. D is following up with the administration.  This is the first time in many years of teaching that she has had to take this approach.

I scared the Theory students a bit by making them sing (together).  That was fun.  I began teaching them intervals, and in the process realized how much information there is to know just about intervals, especially when ear training is included.

GM went fairly well.  I remembered one of the amusing moments from yesterday, which seemed to almost repeat itself a few times today:  The class was playing a chord progression along with me, and was doing so quite chaotically.  I was grinning during this (ok, it was really bad) and a student asked me why I was smiling.  I said, "Because I'm having fun!"  Well, I was, but only to keep myself from going mad with frustration.  Laughter followed.

Now to address the topic referenced in this post's title.  I forget things a lot, but that isn't any different than I always have been.  However, I've recently noticed something pretty cool; I'm remembering a lot of things!  That shouldn't be so exciting, I know, but consider the vast amount of information that is thrust upon a teacher — new names every day, music that you're asked to listen to, information sent from the administration, who is absent and why, who is having issues at home, who is about to have an athletic event, who just did, who forgot to turn something in, who isn't on their medication, who is supposed to be sitting where, who you've already had an in-the-hall respect lecture with, who your cooperating teacher has already had such a lecture with, etc., etc., etc...  So I'm absorbing much more material than I've previously needed to yet only forgetting the same amount that I used to; the forgetfulness has not increased proportionally (unless I'm forgetting something).  I'm proud to declare that I think I'm keeping up with the inundation of details that teachers must handle.  It keeps my mind in shape.

(A shout-out to Mrs. D — I think I'm going to have Cocoa Puffs for breakfast tomorrow......)


 (梦中人) Dreamlover (Dreams by The Cranberries) - Faye Wong

9/29

Theory was great; learning how to build scales out of tetrachords and why scale degrees have been given the names they have truly excited at least 2 students.  They're seeing the big picture and loving it.

After yesterday's disciplinary discussion, I did a better job laying down some law today, and it felt fine.  The first class I worked with has good and bad days, and today would have been good without my strengthened tone, but it was a great day with it.  The second class I worked with just about only has bad days, but I began today's class by rearranging their assigned seats.  They have been surreptitiously moving around and I've been letting them get away with it for too long; they were almost all sitting by their most distracting friends and things were almost out of control.  Today, I decided on the spot to move many of them, and I'm very glad I did.

I also went to my first MS sporting events today.  I wasn't able to stay very long, but I did enjoy watching them play.  I've now been seen by many parents as a supportive and involved teacher.  Cool.


O Weisheit (Arvo Pärt) - Taverner Choir

9/28 - Great Expectations

The HS was assembled for – redacted –

Edit: After initially publishing this post, I gave further consideration to the worst-case scenario consequences of its public availability.  It was about my disappointment with a speaker at the assembly.  Below is a very brief description followed by mostly unedited reflection on the rest of the day.  However, I still think that the writing in my initial post is quality, and I'd be happy to share those thoughts with those who know me well.  If you have my e-mail address and want to read the original, send me a request.  Thank you for your understanding.

The speaker at the assembly presented some specious conclusions that grated against my educational philosophy.  I was troubled, and it set an ominous tone for my day.

I had Music Theory after the assembly, and we only had 25 minutes of class.  These 25 minutes were taken up by discussion of this speaker and his points.  These students meet the expectations of maturity that I have for HS students, which is high, and I'm proud of them for it.  They identified on their own a few of these issues, and were also receptive when I, in as Socratic of a fashion as possible, introduced to them other issues.  I think I managed to help them reflect on the topics covered in a genuinely critical way.  They managed to get me to explain to them my educational philosophy that expects maturity and critical thinking from each of them and their peers, even when disappointed by the mistakes that some are bound to make.  They also managed to help me reflect on that philosophy and consider how some students simply are not receptive to certain approaches.

(For the record, I was unable to play a piece for them today due to time and a skipping CD player.)

Experiencing this at the beginning of the day set me up to work through my first truly stressed, bad mood day.  That was a hard thing to do, but working with students was ultimately a very effective method of pushing beyond my frustrations.  Mrs. D and I spoke at length about this speaker, HS students, and educational philosophy, even though the only information she had on the assembly was what I relayed to her.  Coupled with another discussion about disciplinary action and firm classroom management, she helped me reflect even further on my expectation-based philosophy by providing concrete examples, but otherwise seemed to agree with aspects of my disappointment.

Hey kids, hey adults, don't do drugs.  Hey kids, alcohol counts.  Hey adults, drink responsibly.